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Lorraine is a style obsessed mama to two young kids, a wife to a supportive husband and a family photographer. Lorraine graduated from Rochester Institute of Technology in 2006, with a degree in advertising photography. She enjoys quiet moments, silly kids, clothes, shoes, coffee and a little wine too. Can't get enough of her here on FredParent? Check out her personal blog: Rain in Style.

 

Rain in Style

Hey, y’all. What’s new? Anyone else wonder how it’s already November? I feel like I blinked and that was October. Anyway, I thought this week I’d talk a little bit about confidence and judgment. We all need a good reminder about confidence and how to be confident in an often mean-spirited, judgy world. So grab a cup of coffee and let’s chat.

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I am not above moments of self consciousness and doubt. And, I’m not talking solely about fashion here, I have moments in every aspect of my life that I constantly doubt myself on. Who doesn’t? There are days when I am my least favorite person. Sound familiar?

Confidence isn’t something someone else can give you. It’s not something that can be bought or worn. It has to grow within you and be nurtured and cared for. We have to find our confidence, or be lost to everyone else’s judgments.

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We live in a society that makes it extremely easy to judge someone based on nothing more than a Facebook or an Instagram post. It seems that we have lost the ability to see past outside appearances, to see past social media posts, to see people as they really are...we’ve become quick to judge and slow to love. I find that people tend to create a version of you based on falsehoods, misunderstandings, or even based on jealousy. People love to say “be yourself”, and when you do just that, you are judged for being too much you. I’ve been there, I’m often judged. I’d love to say that I’ve always been really good about handling the haters, but that’d be a lie. They used to get to me, they used to really tear me down. Like, bawling in the bathroom down. Now...the words bounce. I’ve figured out, that some people simply don’t like your light; they think, for whatever reason, that you shine brighter or have more beauty than they...and they will do anything to dim it. Some people believe only one can shine the brightest.

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Basing your self worth on someone else’s opinion of who you ought to be is the equivalent to letting them control your light. Don’t give them that power. I wish I could tell you that there is a secret to having the confidence to shine on, despite the haters. If there is one, I don’t know it. But what I do know is this, find confidence in knowing that you are a beautifully unique person. We all carry a light, and we all can shine just as brightly and beautifully as the person beside us. Know that your unique light is needed to make this world a brighter place. Have confidence in yourself, in your beauty, in your strength. Know that it is ok to be you...be ALL of you. Don’t hide in fear of judgment, be bold in spite of it.

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And to those that judge others and try to take them down, you too must find confidence in yourself...because taking down others doesn’t make you better or stronger. What it makes you is weaker. Only a flame that’s dying tries to rekindle by burning the ground around it.

-xo

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