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Food is the Greatest Love Language Of All

Most folks are familiar with the five love languages that individuals best respond to, whether it is an act of service, physical affection, or words of affirmation. In my opinion, we all need a little of each type of expression to both show others we care about them and to feel that reciprocated. But the problem is that sometimes, for whatever reason, we’re not all equipped to express ourselves a certain way, even if it may be what our loved one may need at the time. And all too often in a relationship, there are barriers that prevent us from giving and receiving the most ideal forms of love and communication, even though we’re trying.

In my opinion, there’s no better example of this struggle than with raising a teenager, something I am firmly in the murky middle of. As parents, we want to shower our children with love, affection, compliments, advice, warmth, and tons of connection, but by design, teens are squarely adamant about shunning all of this because it’s what they need to do in order to individuate, develop their own sense of self, and eventually fly the nest. Of course, this scenario isn’t just in the case of raising a shut-off teen. There are so many reasons why communication with someone in our lives can feel taxing, overwhelming, strained, hesitant, and disconnected

For me, food is the greatest love language of all, and something that transcends any other attempt. Cooking for someone or providing sustenance in the form of nourishment is a high act of love. It is warmth, comfort, healing, stability, and the most universal language we all understand. Whenever I’m feeling disconnected from my teen, or in need of comforting the pangs of distance we both feel toward each other sometimes, I turn to cooking and providing food. When words may fail and physical affection is rejected, a plate of warm homemade cookies to share can fill the void, convey so much, and demonstrate unconditional love in a way that always feels just right.

Triple Chocolate Kiss Cookies
• 1/2 cup butter or margarine (1 stick), softened
• 1 cup sugar
• 1 egg
• 1 1/2 tsp vanilla extract
• 1 1/2 cups all-purpose flour
• 1/3 cup cocoa powder
• 1/2 tsp baking soda
• 1/4 tsp salt
• 1/4 cup milk
• About 36 Hershey Kiss candies
• ½ cup chocolate sprinkles
• 1 tub of ready-to-use chocolate frosting of your choice

  1. Preheat oven to 375F.
  2. Beat butter, sugar, egg and vanilla in large bowl until well blended. Add in flour, cocoa, baking soda, and salt. Add milk, and beat until well blended.
  3. Shape dough into 36 equal (about 1-inch) balls. Roll in chocolate sprinkles; place on ungreased cookie sheet. Bake approximately 10-12 minutes or until set. Cool completely.
  4. Spread frosting onto cookies, leaving about 1/2 inch around outer edge unfrosted. Unwrap Hershey kisses and place one in center of each cookie.
Debra Caffrey
Debra Caffrey
Debra Caffrey is the writer/editor of the Education and Infant & Pregnancy e-newsletters for Fredericksburg Parent and Family. She also writes the monthly Practical Pantry column, sharing her recipes and tips on being a home cook, grocery shopping, and smart meal planning. Debra is the proud mother of an almost-teenage son. When she's not writing, cooking, or parenting, Debra enjoys working out, yoga, running, hiking, traveling, and reading.

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