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Thank
You, Daddy!
By Martha Wegner
Dear Dad,
Father's Day
is here, and once again it's time to fire up the grill and set up
the badminton net. We love and appreciate you for a whole bunch
of reasons, not the least of which is your ability to repair a flat
bike tire and the way you help us solve those algebra problems.
But aside from those little daily miracles, is there a larger, perhaps
more important reason we love our dad? You bet. You are so much
more.
We recently
read a book by Dr. Jenn Berman, called The A to Z Guide to Raising
Happy, Confident Kids, (2007, New World Library). She looked over
the research and she discovered some pretty cool findings regarding
dads and their kids. Listen to this:
a..
Infants who spend time alone with their dads show more varied
social and exploratory behavior than other children, are more
curious, and are better at dealing with stressful situations.
b.. One-year-olds whose fathers are more involved protest separations
from their parents less than those with more absent dads.
c.. Babies whose fathers play with them regularly become better
problem solvers as toddlers.
d.. Children with involved fathers show greater cognitive aptitude
and on average score six points higher on IQ tests.
e.. Daughters with involved fathers score higher on math competency
tests.
f.. Sons with fathers who take responsibility with limit setting
and discipline and who help them with personal problems and
school work display a greater capacity for empathy.
g.. Children whose fathers perform 40% or more of the childcare
engage in less gender-role stereotyping.
h.. Teenagers who live in two-parent families and have good
relationships with their dads are at a 40% lower risk of smoking,
drinking, and using drugs than teens from single-parent households.
i.. Children who feel close to their fathers are twice as likely
as those who do not to enter college or to find stable employment
after high school, 75% less likely to become pregnant as teenagers,
80% less likely to spend time in jail, and half as likely to
experience depression. |
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No wonder we
celebrate Father's Day!
So dads are
important. Very important. But is it enough that fathers just show
up? Is the occasional toss of the football, the trip to the mall,
the sharing of a joke enough? It's a good start. But it turns out
that fathers are able to do so much more. We found another interesting
book called The Everything Father's First Year Book, (2005, F +
W Publications) by Dr. Vincent Iannelli. He suggests: "It usually
isn't about how much money you make, all the things you can buy
your family, or how successful you are at work. It's more about
being available and supporting your family with your love and attention."
Specifically, he lists the following qualities in a good father:
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Understanding your child's needs
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Offering unconditional love
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Having patience
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Being generous with your time
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Setting a good example
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Staying calm and learning to teach when you discipline
(rather than just punishing)
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Being responsible with your family's money
And of
course that describes you to a "T".
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And what can
we do to help you continue to be the best father you can be?
Well, for starters we can and will support you and thank you for
all the ways you are a good father. We'll thank you for your unconditional
love, for setting a good example, and for being so generous with
your time. If you're asking to be an even better dad, we've got
a list of book titles and websites we've collected just for you.
For today,
let's sit back and watch the game or ride a bike or just relax.
You're an incredibly important person in our lives. It's time we
let you know it.
Love,
Mom and the
kids
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