So you are planning to seek paid employment after a relaxing hiatus at home, feeding, cleaning up after, entertaining and tending to your kids, 24/7. Congratulations! Many of you will find the return to the work place a blessed relief and oasis of calm, with civilized conversations in the hallways, endless cups of coffee that you can actually sip before they get ice cold and a lunch break that will not be interrupted by numerous questions/ requests and complaints from your dining companions.

The question is, how to attain this nirvana? If you've been out of the workplace for an extended period, this is a legitimate concern. While you know that you've been working hard, negotiating with the skill of a top-level diplomat, multi-tasking like a Wall Street tycoon, and delegating with the authority of a military general, will employers appreciate this? It's your job to make sure that they do! The task at hand then, is to prepare to sell yourself and your transferrable skills. Below are a few tips and strategies that I've shared with women returning to the workplace over my 16 years as a career counselor.

1. Determine what you have to offer and what sort of job you are seeking. If you are not sure what you are aiming for, how can you convince an employer that you are the ideal candidate? If you are feeling stuck (What DO I have to offer, anyway?), try some self-assessment exercises. DO WHAT YOU ARE, by Paul Tieger and Barbara Baron provides excellent information about matching your personality type with various careers. You can also find exercises on-line. One good source is www.myplan.com.

2. Network. Get out there and start telling everyone (yes, everyone) you know that you are seeking employment in the field of ________. Ask if they know of any openings or have any contacts in the field. For individuals who are working full time, request a brief (15 minute) informational interview, where you can more formally ask them about their career, how to break in, etc. If you graduated from a college or university, contact your alma mater's Career Services office or Alumni Relations office to see if they maintain a database of alumni who are willing to provide guidance and mentorship to fellow graduates who are seeking employment.

3. Related to this, contact your alma mater's Career Services office. Many will offer services and assistance to alumni. There may or may not be a fee for these services.

4. When possible, volunteer. Depending on the field you are hoping to enter, volunteering may provide you with a foot in the door and also give you a taste of how suited you are to this particular profession.

5. Along the same lines, sign up with a temp agency (or two), in order to get some current experience on your resume and make contacts in the professional world.

6. Update your resume. Consider using the functional format (which emphasizes skills and abilities and downplays gaps in employment).

7. Check out Job Hunt: an online database of job openings in Virginia. Provides links to job sites where employers post job openings. Website:
www.job-hunt.org/jobs/virginia.html

Now for some thoughts from a real-live mom, Laura Szardvari of Spotsylvania, who has recently returned, full-time, to the workforce after a year at home with her son:

"Going back to work was not a hard decision for me, especially since it was a financial necessity. However, even if the financial need didn't exist, I still would have made this choice. I like working. I like the challenges, the feelings of accomplishment, the camaraderie, the responsibilities. I guess I had most, if not all, of those things when I was at home with my son, but I didn't really feel like I was using my brain very much. My goal was to stay at home for my son's first year and I did that. Towards the end of that year, however, I started feeling resentment towards my husband. I was jealous of the time he spent at work and of his lunches out. I was even jealous of his hour and 15 minute commute each way arguing that he could listen to whatever radio station he wanted and not be tied to yet another round of Twinkle Twinkle Little Star" because that was the only thing that got the baby to stop crying. I actually think daycare is a good thing for my son. In the two months that he has been there, he has started walking on his own, babbling a lot more than he used to, scribbling with a crayon, using a spoon to feed himself, and drinking out of a real cup. My son is happy and learning skills in socialization and adaptability, I am happy because I'm back in my element at a place that I love, and my husband is happy because he no longer has a (!) for a wife. Is it hard at times? Occasionally. Do I miss spending time with my son during the day? Often. Do I wish for more than 24 hours in the day? Always. Do I feel like I made the wrong choice? Never."

Additional recommended resources:
The Mom Economy: The Mother's Guide to Getting Family Friendly Work, by Elizabeth Wilcox

Comeback Moms: How to Leave Work, Raise Children and Restart Your Career Even if You Haven't Had a Job in Years, by Monica Samuels and J.C. Conklin

Over-40 Job Search Guide, by Gail Geary, JD.

Mary Becelia worked in career counseling for two years at Vassar College, and for the past 14 (nine full time, five part time) at the University of Mary Washington. She is also a mother of two.