● On Diapers. You never have enough diapers. Hide some in your car, hide some in your house and hide some wherever you normally take your kids. Do not use these hidden stashes until you have no alternative, and run, don't walk, to buy more immediately. You might think you know how many you use in a normal day, but there is no normal.
● On Wipes. You never have enough wipes. There will come a time that enough for the next 10 days becomes not enough for this diaper change due to your children hiding hydrogen bombs in their intestines.
● On Clothes. It is useless to buy a full wardrobe for the children, or to try to buy clothes in advance. If you try to buy next summer's clothes because they are on sale this fall, you will wildly over- or underestimate your child's growth over that time. The clothes you bought for the summer will end up fitting at Christmas. Your favorite cute little outfit will be outgrown before you have a chance to get tired of them wearing it.
● On Food. Yes, your kids will eat mac and cheese (or peanut butter and jelly, or hot dogs depending on the child) every meal if you let them. No, they will not get tired of it. No, they do not like your idea of having pork chops instead. Their tastes will not grow broader until you make them.
● On Risk Analysis. If you think what they are doing will lead to them getting hurt, it will. If you think it will lead to things breaking, it will. Your kids really are that unaware of danger, their surroundings and the possible consequences of their actions. It is our job to have enough foresight to stop them from doing most of these things. You will not be able to stop them from doing these things. They are kids, designed to test your patience and your wallet. Sometimes they will get hurt. Sometimes they will break Aunt Margaret's priceless lamp. Sometimes they will throw up on your mom's new couch. Don't freak out—you did all that stuff, too.
● On Boys. If you have boys, they will most certainly not stop talking about their private parts. Males are rather fond of that equipment, and from a young age. You do need to get it into their heads not to do it in public.
Mick Warshaw is a single dad who loves spending time in the country with his three children. He also loves to cook for them and his large extended family.