It's time to write the holiday essay. How to start, how to start? "Already-frazzled mom loses it entirely during the holiday season thanks to a to-do list that quadruples between November and January!" Nope, that's been done before. "Shall we pause for a moment to reflect upon the blessings of the season?" Oh, stop me now, that is definitely not my style! Wait, I think I'll try something a little bit different..
I know you get a lot of letters at this time of year, and most of them are from a set that is much younger and cuter than the one I belong to. But bear with me, if you would, for a moment...
First of all, I have to say, it's been a pretty darn good year. All of them have, really. I've certainly had more than my share of good times and good years and since I'm not a very religious person, I guess I'll direct my thanks this year to you.
No, I really can't complain about much, or ask for much either. I have my two gorgeous kids, Katherine, age seven (who is beginning to suspect you aren't real, but you and I both know better!), and Robert, age four. You know, I never thought I'd have a boy...grew up with a sister and somehow just assumed I would be the mother of two girls. You could have knocked me over when the ultrasound showed a boy, but you know what, Santa? That little guy is the proverbial apple of my eye...
Speaking of Robert, you may have a hard time reading his list--his writing skills are pretty primitive, so let me translate for you: he's asked for a tree house, a zip line, a remote-control airplane, and a pretend sword (he'd love a real one, but he knows that isn't happening--right, Santa?!). I realize some of this list will need to be subcontracted out to his dad, but if you can manage a few smaller items for the stocking, we can take care of the rest.
Katherine would like the entire Magic Tree House series. Getting them at the library, apparently, is not quite good enough. If you can find a used set, great, we'll take it! If not, then maybe a new bike (with gears, please!) and a cute tennis outfit would more than suffice.
In addition, if you could send them both a dash of loving kindness towards one another, the ability play together for more than 10 minutes without it ending in a brawl and please, please, please(!) a curb on the use of the word "booty" (especially when the grandparents are around!), it would be most appreciated.
As for me...well, I really can't think of anything tangible that I need. If, however, you could try to direct a little patience my way for loud voices and sticky hands at the end of a long day, that would be great. A higher tolerance for the mess that two young kids inevitably leave behind them would likewise be helpful. An ability to cook a decent meal and have it all on the table at the same time--my husband knows better than to ask for this but he certainly wouldn't mind it. And, finally, Santa, if you could help me to enjoy these two children, to appreciate them for the miracles they are and for the joy they bring me, that would be best of all...
I'll wrap it up here. I know you have a lot to do in the coming weeks and I don't want to hold you up. All the best to Mrs. Claus and the elves, and best wishes for a safe trip for you, Rudolph, and the rest of the reindeer.