I used to be a goal setter and goal achiever. I think I even used to make New Year's Resolutions and strive to keep them. Then I became a parent. Now, as a mother of four, I find even the thought of setting New Year's resolutions comical. It is cruel irony, I tell you, to expect parents to contemplate setting New Year's goals at a time like this!

This is the time of year that probably scares me even more than the festive month I just survived. At least December comes with hope and magic and good will, not to mention gingerbread houses, Santa Trains, Christmas pageants and parades. What does January (and February and March….) have to offer, besides the prospect of too many Snow Days and "Calling for Frozen Precipitation" delays and cancellations? But, lest you think me a cynic or a disgruntled mother, I am here to announce my expectations and hopes for 2007. I call it my list of non-resolutions for a new year:

#1: No more (or at least less) "Herky-Jerky". Even as a teenager, I was always rushing and running late. It used to drive my step-father crazy, and he would tell me to stop the "herky-jerky". I had great respect and admiration for Dad's slow, careful, and gentle approach, yet I found it impossible to emulate. Now, I have actually discovered that as the number of my children has increased, I have been forced to slow down and be more deliberate in my actions. It takes a long time to load up four kids(and their stuff, of course!) for any kind of outing. Knowing this, I do try to do as much as possible to be prepared, but because that is usually impossible I just start loading much earlier than I think I should have to. Then when I still find myself leaving later than I planned, I refuse to speed to get to my destination. The irony? I am more on time now with four kids in tow than I was in my single days. And now, when I am late, people are especially forgiving. But, in 2007, I vow to reduce the incidents of unnecessary tardiness, even if I do have the perfect excuse (or four excuses). And on the occasions when I am running late, no herky-jerky. It just cranks in the stress for all parties involved.

#2: Get connected, stay connected, and re-connect. I am a major people person, and I find that being a stay-at-home mom is one of the loneliest jobs in the world. It's not that you aren't surrounded by people, but you don't always get to choose with whom you are spending your time. I have good friends in town whom I rarely see -- kids of different ages, at different schools, in different activities. To make matters worse, more friends keep moving away. And let me just say that long distance communication via phone or (eek!) email is not my forte. This past year as I adjusted to yet another little person in our lives, it just wasn't usually feasible to get together for coffee or even touch base with a dear friend from afar. But in August, my father died, so I got back in touch with some long-lost buddies, and what a mood-booster to hear updates, condolences, and praise from my closest pals around the world. I want these people to know my world now, especially my children (even it is mostly via emails and photos). And so, I vow in 2007, to continue the momentum and stay connected. And I am determined to do the same with my local support group - recommit and reconnect with my dear girlfriends who keep me grounded and sane as we muddle through this "parent thing" together.

#3: Get control. There is a reason why my family was nominated for and made it to the final rounds of Nanny 911. Our kids (namely one energetic 4 year old boy) often have control of the household, and I am not ashamed to admit it (or, apparently put it in print for all the world, or Fredericksburg, to see). In an effort to reclaim my home, I attended the Smart Discipline sponsored by Fredericksburg Parent Magazine workshop last fall, and that system has undoubtedly helped. Still, I know I need to tighten the reins, crack the whip, and be consistent. So, in 2007, I vow that I am going to take a deep breathe, get a backbone, and show them "Mommy's in charge." (I just haven't decided exactly when I am going to start…or exactly how…)

#4: Laugh, laugh, laugh. And when I want to cry, laugh some more. Even at our lowest points as parents, there is humor in the scenario. In fact, I often envision that I am watching myself on a big screen when I am having one of "those days" (does that mean I am crazy or creative?) It's usually like a scene from Cheaper by the Dozen or Daddy Day Care: my Aubrey is wailing and desperately needs a diaper change; Lucy has run out of art supplies and only Mommy can find the proper red crayon; Fitch has gotten his Darth Vader cape stuck on something; and, hey, have we eaten in the last 20 minutes? About that time I realize it is time to go pick up Anne Tillery from Brownies, and I rush around gathering everyone and throwing them into the car, and realize that the baby has thrown my keys in the toilet and the cat has just thrown up. As I giggle down the road, I realize that I have planned nothing for dinner. I am sure you Type A readers are horrified by this scene of chaos I have described (as is probably my mother), but it is my reality right now, and, quite frankly, sometimes I just have to laugh. It beats the alternative (which I do plenty of, too, by the way). And so, I vow, in 2007, more laughter, less tears. It makes me feel good, and my kids love to see me laugh. In fact, they usually join in, and we all end up forgetting we were having a bad day.

If you have reached the end of this article, you are probably thinking: "What happened to those non-resolutions?" Well, to use a phrase that I used to find appalling: "All plans are subject to change with no notice." It makes me feel like an irresponsible flake sometimes, but I find that parenthood often forces me to be so flexible that I feel unreliable, i.e., I meant to start going back to Jazzercise this week, but the baby was sick again…. It is almost unfortunate that with the number and ages of the kids that I have, I have everyone's sympathy when I have to bow out of a commitment at the last minute. Still, 2007 is a new year, and I plan to start it with renewed hope that I am going to be less herky-jerky, more connected, and more in control. And on those days when things just aren't going as I planned (imagine that!), well, I'll just sit down and have a good chuckle, and remember, at the end of the day, it's all good.