If you read any of my musings of the past year, you are probably thinking, "Lady, what part of life indicated that you should head back to work?" Indeed, since my inaugural column in November 2006, as I counted my blessings, acknowledged my good fortune, and reflected on my great love of my four children, I most often wrote of those aspects of motherhood that left me feeling overwhelmed, inadequate, and out of control. What better to accentuate those unproductive feelings than adding a full-time/part-time job of teaching preschool?

Much of life as moms (and dads) is a juggling act, a precarious game of balance where daily decisions and careful planning go hand-in-hand with spontaneity and the ability to change plans, regroup and go with Plan B (or C or D). There are certain times in our parenting life, however, when this balancing act gets thrown off completely (albeit usually temporarily): the birth of another child, the holiday season, and returning to work…. I keep telling myself that I am simply on that uphill climb of the learning curve of adjustment, and that things are going to start to "fall into place" soon and not seem so hectic and disorganized.

But for now, suffice it to say that I think I serve as the comedic relief for some of my colleagues as I arrive with a shoeless two-year old, in a top stained - yet again - with that morning's coffee. I have forgotten or misplaced way too many library books, permission slips, snacks, and newsletters for my liking and for my 3rd grader's comfort level. And, yet my friends continue to cheer me on: "I don't know how you do it! You are doing a great job!". I am not sure what their measuring tools are, but I appreciate - and need -- their enthusiastic words of support and votes of confidence. Their point, I think, is that I need to focus on what I am getting done, what I am remembering to do. At the end of the day most importantly, my children are safe, happy, healthy, and (generally!) dressed, fed, and clean.

I am often asked if l would recommend returning to work. I now more than ever believe this goes back to that balancing act of parenthood and individual comfort levels. I have several friends (stay-at-home moms) who have returned to work this fall, and we all seem to be adjusting differently. How much are you willing to let go with regards to the house? How much support do you have at home? Can the children do more for themselves? Can you do more on the weekends? (Or are weekends worthless for catch-up as are mine with a spouse who works on Saturdays and Sundays?)

This is going to sound stupid in its simplicity, but -- you are going to have the same amount of laundry and meals and housework to do now as you did before, with just a heck of a lot less time to do it. And probably less energy. Some of my buddies are running themselves ragged to get it all done, some of us have enlisted the help of our family members, and some of us are just "letting go." Personally, I enjoy the increased interaction and responsibility outside of the home, and I love teaching, so in theory it was not a difficult decision for me to return to work when the opportunity presented itself.

I have the added bonus that I teach preschool only while the twins and my toddler are in school, and we are all in the same location. This is natural for me, as an educator and previously having worked full-time outside the home for four years while I was the mom of only one daughter. In my mind, then, there should have been little adjustment, and, consequently, I did not prepare myself for the change.

My expectations are generally pretty reasonable, and I simply anticipated this recent change would be somewhat painless. So I was shocked to find that my adjustment, in fact, has been largely arduous and frustrating. Why? I think the answer to my frustration is to return to the spirit of my friends' words of encouragement and focus on what I "does do" instead of what I am not able to do.

I am succeeding at a new job and making a difference in the lives of a sweet group of four-year olds. I am providing my own two-year old with his first preschool experience and my five-year olds with their first chance at school in separate classrooms. Meanwhile I am just a classroom away from any one of them. Furthermore, they and my oldest daughter are growing in independence as they are being asked to take on more responsibility by putting things away, getting dressed by themselves, helping to prepare meals and snacks, making sure they have their backpacks packed, coats and shoes in the morning. We-as a family unit--are "getting it done" and making this new lifestyle work.

The house is a little more cluttered, the piles of laundry a bit higher, my rate of return phone calls is embarrassing, and my social life non-existent, but my kids are getting where they need to be, usually with what they need, teeth and hair brushed and sometimes with shoes on. And staying true to two of my non-resolutions that I made at the beginning of this year, I am not "herky-jerky" even when I am running late, and I continue to laugh even when I should probably cry about the absurdity or the chaos of our life. Needless to say, I think there will be ample cause for laughter in the days and months to come. I'll keep ya posted, but, for now, it's off to work I go! Happy New Year!