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Kristen is a home­maker, home­schooler, and a home­keeper. Her experience includes nineteen years of practice, raising three kids, a husband, and a dog. Writing about her life helps her stay sane. She believes that sharing stories helps others by providing opportunities to share advice (and helpful hints) about homeschooling, and raising kids on the autism spectrum, while supporting marriages and families that are striving to thrive.



We're All a Little Mad Here

The Perfect Planner

  

Has anyone seen the awesome planners/ agendas  that are out in the stores right now? I've seen so many that you can customize yourself! They look like scrapbooking projects! You know, like there are so many cute stickers, and cool make-your-own lists, and sweet little cut-outs to decorate your day-at-a-glance, and they are all bound up in colorful notebooks (Project!!!).


I love organization. Well, I love the idea of organization. My Pinterest board has so many organization ideas on it, that if you knew me only through Pinterest, I'd be that organization genius friend of yours. If only. A girl can dream, right? If only life could be so perfectly ordered. As it is, I currently have three agendas (which never match up, mind you), and about five different journals that span over at least a four year span of time (each journal- each one has the same four years scattered throughout them). Someday, an awesome archeologist might be trying to figure out the history mystery of the millennial mother and my lack of chronological journaling will totally derail her hypothesis about how we nurtured and lived our lives… 


 need to get it together!


So, I've come up with some ideas on organization to share with you for this upcoming new year (can you even believe the New Year is right around the corner?). These are some simple goals, shared to help, to take a look at, to maybe give you some ideas on how you can maybe stay a bit more organized. I mean, the cutest, most creative agenda in the world won't keep me (you, us) put together unless I (me,you) use it, right?

 


Number one: plan what works for you in a format that works for you. I have tried to be a week-at-a-glance type of girl. It just doesn't help me, though, if I need to be somewhere on Monday but I forget to turn the page to the next week on Sunday night. Missed appointments cost money, now. Sometimes missed appointment fees are more than an actual co-pay, and I have too many people in my house that need to be at appointments to waste that kind of money. Office managers are never sympathetic to my, “but-I-forgot-to-turn-the-page” excuse, and that will be fifty dollars. Thank you. Meh. So, I do the month at a glance on my paper agendas. I see the whole month, there are no surprises, and as a rule, I never schedule appointments on the first day of the month. It works for me.

 


Number two: make lists. Lists are satisfying in so many ways. I keep a notepad by my bed, actually, because as I am trying to fall asleep, inevitably I think of one million and thirty two things I need to do, and at least fifty things that I forgot to do. Writing those things down, somehow, alleviates the stress of trying to remember it for “in the morning”, thereby allowing sleep to happen (hopefully. Sleep usually eludes me anyway, but when I write down the list of things I don't stress over them as much) Aside from not forgetting things, or actually remembering things, lists help you save time at the grocery store (and money), they help you to remember which questions to ask at the doctor appointment, and they let you set priorities for each day. Here is the bonus, though: scratching completed tasks off your list is so very satisfying! Just give it a try and you’ll see what I mean.

 


And number three: always keep your agenda with you. “Duh,” you say? Well, I have written out shopping lists, and then left them on the kitchen counter, so this advice, while obvious, begs to be relayed. If the paper agenda is your organization of choice, make sure it fits in your purse, diaper bag, car bag, or whatever, because, again, it will only work for you if you use it. I make sure my paper agenda matches my electronic agenda, which is synced with my husband’s agenda so we can all be on the "proverbial" same page. The teens in the house know to either add their events electronically, or to write them down on the paper agenda, lest I become unglued when they tell me they have to be somewhere right now, and I don't know about it. Sheesh!


So, good luck adopting a plan to stay on top of the things of life! Whether you are an electronic diva, or a paper planner person, organization can happen! Share your ideas, if you will, who knows what tip might be useful to me or someone else?!

 


Keep calm, make plans, and parent on!

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Let's Hear it for Marriage!

 

I have been married for twenty one years. Mark and I have been together for twenty four years. The average Hollywood marriage only lasts a few years (I said average, mind you), and in the United States the divorce rate (overall) is a little less than half. I read a disturbing article recently about how getting married is not even “worth anything.” I'm at the stage in life where I'm going to second-marriage weddings, or shedding tears with friends that are suffering through divorce. We hear so much about divorce and break-ups. Well, how about some good news about marriage?

I am passionate about marriage. Let me be clear that there is no judgment toward anyone that is not married, will never be married, or is divorced. I am, however, moved to write about why marriage is so important. I want to encourage parents to stay together. I urge couples to nurture their marriages just like they would nurture their children, even more so. Marriage can be so great, not only for the parents, but for the family, too!

 

 

Families are truly the cornerstone of our great country. Parents are responsible for encouraging the next generation to greatness, and success. Children that grow up in married homes statistically score better on standardized tests, are healthier, and they live longer. These are statistics from a social science study (The Case For Marriage- by Linda Waite)! I know plenty of hard-working, conscience-minded, single people raising children single handedly, so, again, there is no condemnation for those readers that land in that category.  My hats are off to you all, too! This just happens to be a benefit of marriage that directly impacts the children in a married-parents family home.

Also, parents who stay in a marriage relationship tend to have the same benefits. Adults that are married tend to be healthier, wealthier, and happier than their unmarried peers. I think the comraderie that develops over time between a couple benefits marriage and family raising, alike. We (my family) refer to our family as a team, as a matter of fact, and I have friends that do the same with their families. Family raising is a team sport in my opinion, so put a name on it and call it your team! 

 

 

So, let's celebrate staying together! Marriage, on the best day, is hard. Period. There is no way to sugar-coat that, but staying married is so worth a good, great, honest, sweat-beading try. Marriage counseling works wonders, and can help get a marriage back on track. Before the proverbial flame flickers, though, try to keep your relationship on a good track. Claim your date nights. Build in some play time. Talk for at least ten minutes a day. Gaze into each others’ eyes for a whole minute. Kiss for a whole minute! Yes, your older children will shriek and shout, but on the inside it makes kids feel secure when mom and dad are affectionate with each other. Try something new to encourage your relationship. Just like the Mikey commercial from the eighties, “try it, you’ll like it!”

So, this mama is tired of the negative publicity toward marriage. I'm starting a marriage praising revolution. So join in! Share your happiness! Put some good marriage moments out there on Twitter, in the comments, on Instagram, or on Facebook, or on the social media of your choice. Encourage others, too, because some days it is just hard to feel like a couple. Here it is, though: you are a couple, and there are many fringe benefits to staying a couple. You have to work at it. Another great commercial allusion: Just Do It!

 

Keep calm, don't throw in the towel, stay married, and parent on:)

 

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Five Ways to Make Fall Fabulous

 

Who loves fall?!? 

We do!!!

It is truly the most beautiful season in Virginia. While spring ushers in lovely blooms, and the cherry trees are to die for, the fall season is so vibrant and rich and colorful. Can you even imagine Virginia without it? I certainly can't, and there are thousands of ways to take advantage of the season. Lucky for you, I'm only going to mention five of them.

Numero uno is: go outside!! Go. Move. Unplug. Take yourself and your family out. Go for a walk, go for a hike, go for a drive. We have so many state parks right here in Northern Virginia to enjoy at our leisure. My favorite is Prince William Forest Park. There are plenty of trails, and tons of trees. Fredericksburg boasts some really beautiful parks, too. In fact there are too many to list! So, go out and visit a park today. Your body and your family will thank you. A park ranger just might thank you, too!

Second, find a fall festival near you. Seriously, we Virginians celebrate the fall in style. There are Oktoberfest and wine and cider fests (you're welcome), craft fairs, apple harvests and pumpkin patches. In Fredericksburg and Stafford alone we have Braehead Farm, Sneads Farm, Belvedere Plantation, and Cows and Corn. There is truly something for everyone, whether you are headed out with the whole family, or just a date night, I'm positive there is a fall festival just for you to enjoy.

 

 

Decorating is my number three way to make fall fabulous. I love the colors of the season, so I put out pumpkins and gourds on the porch, on the table, on the hearth, on the shelf, etc. It is not only easy to decorate in the fall, but it is colorful! The grass is already dead, so I don't have to stress about trying to make that look good, and the leaves are so pretty that I don't have to stress about them, either. Also, Halloween is becoming almost as decorative as the winter holiday season! I do “happy” Halloween, only, but a lot of my neighbors do a more festive scary Halloween theme, which is just as fun to enjoy (from afar... I'm a scardy-cat!).

 

 

Which leads us to number four… Halloween!!! Whether or not you celebrate Halloween, the day of the dead, or the autumn equinox, Fall is a great time to throw a party. The costumes are fun, especially for little ones. Candy is abundant, and party favors are festive in lieu of sweets. My tweenager wants to have a masquerade ball, while the oldest two are happy just trick-or-treating. Dressing up, enjoying the weather, and having some treats are a great way to round out October.

And finally, number five, is pumpkin spice everything. I love, love, love pumpkin spice latte season! I love pumpkin pie, pumpkin squash, pumpkin cake. My son and I are crazy for pumpkin treats. If you don't like pumpkin, that's ok, because it is also salted caramel season. So, there you go. Again, there is something for everyone! Pumpkins, apples, caramel -- how can you go wrong?

 

 

So, keep calm, parent on, and enjoy fun, fabulous fall!

 

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What To Do?

autumn leaves

 

I'm sure everybody is getting so very fed up with the political talk going around and around this fall. Now, don't run away, because I'm not really writing a political post, here. I'm sure, though, that most people are more fed up than usual this election cycle than in previous years. I know just because I'm on social media. I have a theory that social media is turning otherwise rational adults into toddlers throwing temper tantrums… I mean, there is just overwhelming amounts of garbage on the Internet, and people I know and love are saying/posting/re-posting some crazy things! It's hard to not feel the effects of such negativity. 

What to do?

Well, I have some good advice about how to stay positive, and how to keep your sanity intact during this time and season!

 

 

First of all, just don't engage! Especially on social media, I'm seeing grown adults posting rant, after rant about why they are right, and why they have the best answers. I’m guilty of having responded to some of these rants early on in the year, but now I'm afraid that some people I care about will unfriend me based on some comments I may make about a political candidate. No friendship is worth that, in my opinion! I have friends that are both liberal and conservative, some who don't vote, some that are from other countries, and some that are socialist. Say this after me: we are not all the same. Appreciate that we don't all have the same opinion, and it may be better to just not engage.

Second of all, should you want to debate, or state an opinion on some topic that you are passionate about, proceed with the intent of having good manners. Take turns. Be fair. Don't speak hate. Agree to disagree. Be respectful. We are the adults, after all, and we should act accordingly. Little people are watching us, and they have big ears to listen with, as well, and unless you want to hang a sign around their sweet little necks that says, "the opinions expressed by these children are not necessarily the same as their parents," you might want to watch what you say.

 

 

Third, remember that we have three branches to our government. Whomever gets elected in November is not the Supreme Leader of the New Order, nor is that person all-powerful, all-knowing, the end-all-be-all forever, amen. The world will probably not end. I'm pretty sure our country will not dissolve. Some people may decide to flee, or become ex-pats somewhere, and that will be OK, too, because people here have freedom to make those choices. The United States of America is still one of the greatest, wealthiest, and best countries in the world, regardless of what some may say. We are free, as Americans, we can vote, and we have liberty to make decisions for ourselves and our families.

While the election seems to be dominating the news, and consuming the Internet, remember that it is October! The leaves are beautiful! Fredericksburg and the surrounding areas have some of the best things to do, like hikes, pumpkin patches, and apple picking. Turn the political noise off for a bit, and engage instead with your kids, your spouse, your friends, and nature. There are oodles of things you can do to avoid the vacuum that is an election season in Northern Virginia. 

 

 

So, keep calm, keep your friends, and parent on!

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A Plea to be Sane...

Dear Drivers of the Greater DC Metropolitan Area,

Recently, my sweet fifteen year old girl got her learner’s permit. Her nineteen year old brother got his on the same day, but I only take him to very large parking lots to practice driving. His father and I are going to let the state teach him behind-the-wheel before we try to take him driving in this area. My daughter, though, is learning primarily from us.

 

 

Please, please, please be patient, because I'm writing on behalf of several parents who are teaching their teens to drive. It is the most nerve-wracking thing in the world to let your child have control of the family swagger wagon. If you don't have teens, you probably can't appreciate that, but I urge you to stretch your imagination for a few minutes to go there with me.

I understand that I-95 is a soul-sucking experience. I know, because I used to commute, and it was bad way back in the nineties, and I know it has only gotten worse. My husband still commutes, I hear the traffic reports, and I get it. However, no matter what kind of mind-numbing experience you have just endured on I-95, honking at my precious daughter because she lawfully stopped at a red light is not necessary. Furthermore, exaggerated shoulder shrugs and hand raising only frighten her, which will probably cause her to drive even slower when the light turns green. So, please refrain from that kind of behavior. The extra three minutes at a red light are not going to impact the two hour commute home that you have just suffered through.

While Stafford and the surrounding counties are growing in population astronomically, the roads are not being accommodated at the same rate. Many of them are winding, and are only two lanes wide. I believe the speed limits on most of these types of roads are thirty-five to forty mph. So, if you are going upwards of fifty mph around a blind turn and happen to have to brake abruptly because my daughter is pulling onto the road, the one-fingered salute you hastily flashed at us is really, truly offensive, and not well received by her, her younger sister, or me. We are trying to stay out of the way, believe me. Also, slow down!! 

 

 

Finally, parking lots are for parking. They are neither drag racing tracks nor are those geometric white lines to be ignored. So, if you feel the need to cut through all those white lines at an exaggerated speed, and my daughter, consequently, has to slam on the brakes of our vehicle, don't be surprised when I look slightly incredulous at you. I'm simply trying to not exit the vehicle so that I do not accidentally cut off your oxygen supply. I'm exhibiting self control. I'm saving your life. Furthermore, this situation does not then give you any reason to honk at us, or to squeal your tires to go around us, nor to flash rude gestures at us while yelling out your open windows expletives and unflattering names. Did you not learn in kindergarten that bullying is not acceptable?

In closing, people who operate a motor vehicle should act their age and not like a toddler in the middle of a temper tantrum. Said behavior is so not appreciated by any of the other drivers in this region, especially those that are teaching their children to drive. Slow down. Be patient. Be kind. Avoid rude gestures, especially to ladies... especially to young ladies. 

Manners! Language! It all matters. You can't go wrong with good manners in any life situation, truly.

 

 

Sincerely,
A concerned mother of a teenage driver

PS: Slow down and enjoy the view:)

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