I love music, I enjoy discovering new music. I listen to all types of music and recently heard country artist, Tim McGraw's new song, "Humble and Kind" - it shares a good message that I like my kids to hear whenever I stumble onto it. The link here is for the video, which is even better! Honestly, it makes me cry every time I hear it, but not necessarily because of what the lesson I imagine the writer is trying to teach, but because of the sadness I feel when I realize how I don't always show my family, especially my children, my kind side.
It is really hard to embrace that kind spirit when at least once a day, I have to strip down to my bra and underwear because I am so freaking hot! Hormonal hot flashes have made me one mean mom. Well, I certainly wasn't a beaming ray of sunshine and rainbows prior to my cancer-induced menopause, but I really don't recognize myself in these anger-filled, sweaty moments.
So, if you don't put your shoes in the hallway bin, you may just experience the wrath of my internal furnace from hell in 0-30 seconds.
My kids, like many others, complain about equality. Are they getting the same amount of toys, screen time, etc. (I mean, do you really need the exact amount of Goldfish as your sibling?) I can usually deal with this. But, during a hot flash? That's a different story. They sit there, watching me yell at them, something along the lines of "LIFE ISN"T FAIR, IT WILL NEVER BE FAIR, GET OVER IT!" At this point, I think they have become used to my surges and probably are thinking, "Geez, mom, chill out and go put some clothes on."
Of course, it's not anyone's fault that these surges happen and I guess because a) there really isn't anything I can do about it and b) I have no idea when, if ever, they will end, it just makes me feel crazy and a little sad. So, forgiving myself for my hormonal tirades is hard. I like that I can use music to get myself back on track. I love P!NK's new song for the upcoming Alice in Wonderland movie, "Just Like Fire" - helps me to feel good about myself and who I am because there is no one else like me and that's a good thing.
Let me know if you have any music that helps you, I'd love to hear it! Look for me on the streets of Fredericksburg in the coming weeks with my Agora cold-brew, iced coffee (the ice cubes are coffee!) and cooling towel ;-)