Recently, I started binge-watching the show, "Younger", a TVLand show starring Sutton Foster and Debi Mazar. Foster, who is in her early 40s, finds herself a divorced single mom and needing/wanting to return to the publishing world she left behind in her twenties. During her interviews, she realizes a world of social media jargon like "trending" and "IRL" have passed her by. After an interaction at a bar with a younger man, Foster's character, "Liza" and her best friend, "Maggie" played by Mazar come up with a plan for Liza to pass herself off as a 26-year-old. They go to great lengths to re-create her life as a Millennial - studying pop culture, creating a new Facebook profile, etc.
I don't think it's a coincidence that I sought this show out at the end of summer - a season ripe for reminiscing. This past summer was chock full of reflecting on the past (Steve has been killing me with playing all the old songs that I used to hear at my neighborhood pool). Also, I'm getting constant reminders to register for my 25th high School reunion, set for this coming October! Check out my braces and those crazy bangs.
So, I've been asking myself, would I want a second chance to live the life of a twenty-something? Would you? I think at the core of wondering (wishing/hoping) for that re-do is thinking I'd be able to right my wrongs or make different choices. But, my twenty-something self is who got me to where I am today - flaws and all.
You'd think with wisdom and experience, having self-esteem and confidence would be easier, but it's hard, almost exhausting because of the very fact that I know more than I used to. When I ask myself: am I doing enough as a mom? will I ever get back to a career? will these hot flashes ever go away?, all I can do is look back, reflect on what I have accomplished, and work with the present realities. Plus, surrounding myself with people that remind me of what I have done instead of pointing out what I haven't is really important.
My dad always said, "Take inventory of your life." I love these quick exercises, they help you get in the right frame of mind, recognizing and appreciating different aspects of your life, and building your confidence and self-esteem. Do the exercise, do it often, and appreciate where you are right now -- regardless of what your birth certificate says.
It's definitely time to pull the trigger on signing up for my reunion. Am I worried about what I'll wear? Sure I am. Will I feel insecure? I imagine I will. But, that's nothing a good DJ and glass of wine or two won't fix!