It’s official: I have two school-age children. My daughter is halfway through kindergarten, and my son is in third grade, both at a local public elementary school. That means that I am no longer paying for daycare. I should celebrate! Right?

Wrong.

Now that I am not paying for daycare any more, I have fallen into a dire situation. I HAVE TOO MUCH MONEY. Without the constant agonizing cost of professional childcare, I can only assume that my money will grow uncontrollably and dangerously. This money was previously going toward what I can only assume was feeding the daycare’s children caviar and lobster every day. Now, it will sit around my house in safety-threatening piles.

I have, of course, already constructed a giant, Scrooge McDuck-style swimming pool of cash and loose change. It quickly succumbed to the onslaught of unused money. After mere days, it was filled to the brim. Swimming in it now serves only as a brief respite from my woes. I need another solution.

Being environmentally minded, I immediately vetoed the solution of simply burning large piles of cash. It gets rid of the money quickly, but the carbon footprint? Unacceptable. 

I could take my family on swanky, all-expenses-paid, overseas vacations. It perhaps would make my daughter feel like she’s back at her daycare, which, based on the cost, is an opulent dreamworld of decadence. But 24-hour room service would certainly pale in comparison to the daily feedings of peeled grapes that she’s no doubt used to from her high-priced daycare.

Alas, I’ve resigned myself to accidentally being crushed under a toppled pile of gold bullion and loose change, now that I’m not paying for daycare any more.

But seriously, the financial burden on families with young kids is a huge problem. When our second child was born, my wife decided to quit her job; most of her paycheck would have gone towards our two kids’ daycare costs. Many parents make similar decisions, and don’t work at all. According to Care.com, median childcare costs in the Fredericksburg area are around $2,400 per month in 2025. The U.S. Department of Labor reports that in 2022 (the latest year with data), the annual cost of daycare for a single child in the U.S. ranges from $6,000 to $15,000. That’s like a second mortgage.

There’s some relief for some people. Just last year, the office of the governor of New Mexico announced that the state would be the first to offer universal child care. Hopefully, the program will do well, and other states (Virginia, perhaps?) will follow. I’m personally feeling the hurt less now because both my kids are in public school. But parents across the country are still struggling for some reprieve. In my opinion, our best bet comes from government programs and legislation. So keep your community’s struggling parents in mind when you vote, and make sure to vote in local and state elections.

And for all you parents out there still struggling with daycare costs, good luck and remember it won’t last forever. I’ll be rooting for you - just look for the guy in the solid-gold Mercedes.